and in the end.
this life should be the culmination of thousands of countless ones who's lives were shaken up, who's sense of purpose, who's understanding of love, who's understanding of God has increased.

His Grace has saved me, His mercy is boundless, His love beckons me.

between valleys

like eagles born waiting 6 months to fly,
23 years: a patience souvenir
there's fog over this sheltered path
wilderness everywhere now
no end in sight
daddy, lead me home
surrender now, I'll surrender.

4 months of 2008, and into my 24th year

I am turning 23. and going to yosemite this weekend. probably one of the best ways i could imagine to celebrate my golden birthday.

by many standards I am very young, but by my own standard, I am getting old. The good news is that I really am beginning to sense that I truly am in the Lords hands, he has ordered my steps, I am believing my 24th year, this year in 2008 to be the best year of my life so far.

In the last four months, I have had numerous people tell me that my prayers for them have been answered, I have had the privelage of laying hands on a woman with arthritis in her wrist, and seeing her healed completely, and I have also had many people tell me that my prayers over them have been prophetic. God is amazing, it is only by His grace that I should see and be a part of such things. to Him be the glory.


I am sort of at the crossroads right now, looking for a new job knowing that i am destined to do something that i really am not excited about. But in this i rejoice, because my job is not the end of the road, it is this discontent that helps me continue my focus on the Lord and asking Him questions. At the same time it is opportunity for me to worship and work for him. I sort of take refuge in that. knowing that I am working for him, it helps me to be motivated.

I am co-leading a prayer group on monday nights. This has been a great opportunity to see the kingdom, and ask for more of it. This is where I have had the privelage of learning to hear the Lords voice and give prophetic words, and where people have been healed as we have layed hands on them. It is also a place where I have found and given encouragement. The Lord really moves there. It is amazing to be a part of that. It is amazing that he works through us and wants to partner with us for His kingdom on this earth. What a privelage.

I receieved a prophetic word monday night at an African American church down in Crenshaw CA. I was told that new annointings wait for me, and that what I have been asking for is going to be answered this year. Additionally the Lord will grant me what I ask as I continue to pray and press in this year. All I want is just to be able to minister and play music.

I pray that he would open those doors to do that full time.

I just started a new musical project with 2 other guys. It is kind of a shoegaze/experimental/electronic progressive project. I am excited. We are playing our second show April 25. I get to use my electribe, and play drums. and create choas on stage. More importantly, I get a chance to connect with people and see the kingdom come after playing. The music isnt important. People want love, encouragement, acceptance, hope, but most importantly Jesus, more than they want what we could collectively produce onstage with our talents. To forget this is to fail i think with my calling.

My attitudes towards work and activities are starting to change. Matt 6:33 "seek ye first the kingdom...all these things shall be added unto you" is really capturing my heart and my thoughts. I am coming to a place where I want everything I have to be for the kingdom. My going, my coming, my activities, my possessions, my work, everything should be done to further advance the kingdom. Nothing should be an end in itself except to see God's love for his children be realized again and again by those who are searching, and those in need. I think this is what it means to live to our fullest -- to walk and live like this.

I cant wait for what is in store for the rest of this year. I am excited for what the Lord has for you this year. Bless you.

Labor day weekend

labor day weekend: 3 days. 3 golden opportunities to surf, and I do not take any opportunities.

it has been 105 degrees for a high for the past like 5 days. which should further motivate me to get my buns over to the beach. But I still didnt go.

Sunday, jon and i were going to go, but it sort of just turned into a lazy sunday. 3 movies and being couch potatoes.

Last night I was out until 1:30pm, which means I got to bed at 2. Everyone was waking up to leave at 5, so that would have meant 3 hours of sleep. 3 hours of sleep with waves that are 4-6, with the occasional 7 would destroy me.

What happens at 5am? my brother wakes me up, and i feel awful. I am a fool.

I wish I was surfing right now.

Another Exciting Saturday

It has been a while, I know. My apologies to all you who are frustrated by this.

Anyway, Today was a fun day. I had the opportunity to go up to ventura county specifically Camarillo and go to the beach, and hang with a sweet girl that my brother is good friends with.

I didnt really have plans, so I could go with him, or stay at home. I opted to go with him. So around 10:30, we decide to load up our boards and head on up to ventura to hang out with this girl and do some surfing. We get up there to meet up with Jon's friend Amy, who has a gorgeous house, a swimming pool, fruit trees, and a scenic view of some desert mountains in her backyard. Nice house. We head on out around noon, and stop for mexican food on our way to the beach. MMMM mexican. I love mexican, even after 3 mexican meals this week I am still not sick of it yet. it is too good.

We are making small talk in the car, and somehow Amy's plans for tonight come up: "I am going to concert in the park tonight...the gin blossoms are playing"

"WHAT!?!?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" -- my response.

"THAT IS AMAZING!"

What a blessing. Jon and I picked theright day to go up to ventura. I am excited, the gin blossoms, awesome band of the90's, i didnt even know they were still together. If you remember the great hits they had: "hey jealousy" "Found Out About You", "Until I Fall Away", "Allison Road" "Follow you Down" You know that they are worth seeing, especially if it is free, outside in the park.

We get to the beach, and it is very windy, a tough day to catch some waves, but worth a shot. Jon and I both go out. I catch 2 before getting worked multiple times--skegged and bleeding feet, surfboard collision with my head, flipping over multiple times, and pearling from about 4 feet on top of one crest straight into the bottom of the wave--getting tossed like a rag doll and hoping the board doesnt slice me in the head. A painful, short day of surfing.

We return to Amy's house after the beach to eat some sushi, and pack up some food for an ultimate 5 star picnic at the concert. We pack wine, cheese and crackers, salad, fruit salad, and meet up with amy's sister and her boyfriend, who bring along their own wine selection along with pasta, bread, and orangina beverage (yes, the joke of the night was to pronounce oran-jyna) a tastey picnic and the gin blossoms what could be better?

The Gin blossoms go on. They dont put on the most exciting show, but they are an early 90's soft rock band. You cant really expect a whole lot of energy. They are really tight, and Jesse Valenzuela is on with his vocals. The play all the hits, and a set list that is probably an hour and a half or so. the highlights were hey jealousy, and found out about you. Love those songs. It was great. everyone in their lawn chairs, and 2 "rock crowds" that are standing on either side of the stage.

The show ends, and we head home.

Conclusion: aside from Camarillo/Ventura being cool for te fact that it is where the end of little miss sunshine was filmed, it is a cool place. Concerts in the park in the summers, and its a little more of a suburban area than any places around LA and You can actually see the stars at night. Might be a good place to live when I am ready to raise a family.

bedtime.

gnight friends.

जुल्य ४थ् पार्ट १: थे सर्फ़

Yesterday was July 4th.

July 4th for me has always been spent up on sebago lake in Maine with my family, up until this year.

Yesterday I went down to the OC, specifically at Newport beach. We wanted to get an early surf session in, so we left at 5am to get down there by 6 or so.

We get to newport, and it is a nice morning. Overcast but warm..great temperature. The surf is great, most waves had good organization, and were probably head-high. I actually decide to wait to put on my suit and get in the water, because I sort of just want to chill out and relax. So for about 2 hours, until 8am, I was just sitting out on the beach watchinng all the sufers catch their waves while me and my buddy Jon Morales talk about boy things. I.E. Girls.

so we get in the water and paddle out just far enough past where the waves are breaking to catch some. At this point I start seeing dolphons surface and dive 50 feet or so away. Very cool.
I look back behind me to see a big wave coming and likely to crest a little in front of me. I start paddle forward in hopes to catch it. it catches up with me, annd I am paddling fast enough to catch the crest. I start to feel myself being propelled no longer by my arms, but by the wave. I look to my left and see dophins right next to me in the wave, riding it too. Nothing short of breathtaking. it looks something like this:

Unfortunately I am on my brother's short board, and try to stand up, but fail miserabley. I tank, flip over a couple of times, and my board flys out of my hands. I fall into the wave and grab my head and tuck into the fetal position terrified tat the board is going to come back and slice my head. Fortunately I am ok.

I go back out in hopes to catch another wave. I am able to catch one more before the blackball signs go up, and we can no longer surf.

Another Adventure on the Metro.

today the bus ride home was scary.

A strangely behaving man pulled a knife on the bus driver and stabbed her. Everyone flipped out into sheer panic.

I had no idea what was going on. I am thinking it is a terrorist attack and there is a bomb on the bus. The driver, after struggling pulls the bus to a stop forunately avoids numerous accidents. The bus stops and the doors fly open. I get off the bus as fast as i can like many others on the bus. A police man fortunately is right behind the bus on his motorcycle. We tell him the situation and he calls for backup.

in 30 seconds a fleet of cruisers storm the scene. The knifeman is tackeled to the ground by three cops, and his face is covered in blood.

I am pacing back in forth on the scene, really shaken up, and terrified at this point, not wanting to step foot on another bus again, but yet I am trying to figure out if i should walk or get back on the bus. I walk to the next bus stop thinking its going to be a long time before that lane of traffic clears up where the scene occured. I get back on the bus probably 10 blocks down, and console myself by telling myself over and over again this is a rare occurance it wont happen again.

i get off at argyle and hollywood and walk to my brother's work, and ride home with him.

If anything, this sort of drama really puts the reality of ths world into perspective, and it really makes me grieve.