she is blonde with blue eyes, her name is amanda

the table was set with glasses that glistened off the warm yellow illuminating the table. The fire’s hot breath kept the room cozy from december’s arctic bite in Wasatch. A picturesque scene and perfect venue for a winter wedding. Tucked away at 6000 feet in a national forest with 8000 foot peaks and snow-dusted ground surrounding. I looked into her eyes, and never before had I been so captured. I had never really been attracted to blondes before. Blue eyes say so much more than brown eyes. As she locked eyes on mine, my soul was stolen, and I was teleported to the labyrinth of her thoughts, and emotions. Desire, pain, confusion, joy, frustration, and appreciation for the fleeting moment we were in. This occasion with her only comes once or twice in a lifetime. And she only comes around twice a year. the knowledge of those two thoughts made the experience relationally defining. We had decided to be exclusive despite the 9,000 mile difference between us in september, based on 3 months of knowing each other, and probably 6 dates. It’s amazing how phone communication can maintain a relationship—6 dates and 3 months of communication via telephone did not let me down. Nothing seemed to skip as we saw each other for the first time in 3 months. It actually seemed as though we were dating for 3 months. Granted not seeing each other is hard, but she is a prize worthy of the fight. Never before have I known someone so in love with being fully alive, someone who burns to engage people, life, suffering, Jesus, and culture. Someone who knows what it is to have and to lack, someone who has paid a price of 6 years of hard work for her dreams which are now coming true. Someone who has chosen to live in a country of darkness, and have little so that light can shine and others can have hope in Jesus. Never have a met anyone such a mystery worth pursuing who challenges me, Never have a met someone who does not want the American dream of a house, 3 kids and a dog in suburbia. Never before has my similar sentiments and lack of desire for a 9-5, lemming, cookie-cutter job, and cookie-cutter life – which has left me so confused—made so much sense. Never before have I felt so free with someone while I try to figure out the direction of my life. Never before has life been this hard, but so good. When I met, her, I knew she was leaving in 3 months for grad school. Im not sure why I didn t care. She was a mystery I had to pursue I guess when you are so enticed by a person or a thing you don’t care about circumstances logic. I didn’t care if she responded or not, in fact I didn’t expect her to the way she was apathetic. For some strange reason, after a handful of dates, and 3 weeks of indifference she had a breaking point. And I had found it. Or so her friend talked to her and opened her eyes to see what she was passing up with me and she decided she would give me and give this a chance.